I found out im pregnant last week. Private chat services are also available at thehotline.org. Too often you try to put it aside and surpress it. He went back to work and within the same week he just decided he didnt want to do that job anymore and he walked out. We live paycheck to paycheck. He is now 51 and never been unemployed before. I have talked to my husband about how when he gets a new job, I would love to employ a regular house cleaner, but that we need to wait until we have a higher household income. Feeling fed up, lonely and totally shattered both physically and mentally. Try reaching out to a legal or finance recruiter and see if they can place you in an entry-level position. I am so exhausted with my relentless pace of work I am ready to quit for health reasons, but who will pay the bills? Were almost 30 years old. Cant she see how exhausted I am trying to carry the burden alone? I love him to death, but HOW LONG is too long? . Still no work and as I age, do not see any hope. Just like Chris said, its so frustrating getting up early for work while every day he just sleeps in till noon and then how Maggie says, allways complians about how tired he is when he did absolutely nothing all day other than sleep. Medical studies pay out a couple thousand dollars just to go and stay in facility and let them collect your blood or other vitals. I am 27 and she is 24. I felt resentful towards Sweden that I couldnt get a job and become whiney and self pitying all the while enjoying a lovely lifestyle. For the last 2 years my wife has barely worked, and complained so much about the couple of extremely part-time jobs shes found that Ive begged her to quit just so I could stop hearing about it. There are no jobs that pay what he used to make ($60K plus benefits). I know how it feels and wish there was someone I could talk to whose having the same problem. Dilemma: Retired husband won't do chores. That evening, I lost it and yelled, What do you even do all day?. XOXO. Total bulls*** and its important to walk away cool off hit the gym or go out in the car and scream. Usually has a capable hard working partner who look after him. Our three-year-old son has just started schooling and it worries me even more. In my own case, these negotiations can be very transactional (Ill wipe the counters if you fold the laundry), and, of course, sometimes we fight. haha talk about a slow learner. Youll often ask yourself why is this person still here-why am I keeping them around when the situation is similar to how it would be if they were gone? That is the hallmark of a heathly relationship, regardless of what era we live in. Cars for him, cars for his three kids once they were old enough. Yes- he is working hard on our action movie but there are other film makers whom also work to make their dreams come true. I suggest we leave our partners and then file for divorce. We only have one car and are trying to get back on our feet. Permanent marker your line in the sand. So what can you do at this point? He is 10 years younger than me. Oh yes, once in a blue moon during their 17-years marriage, my sisters husband earned some free-lancing income. My whole problem is; he doesnt seem to think my feelings are warranted! I am working full time now on maternity leave. The 2 types are : Ive lowered myself now to telling him daily how he is using me and thats the way I see it! Set up your heads together to think of a plan of attack because that is actually what youll have to deal with the sheer pressure that can undermine your relationship in these rough and harsh conditions. You are not his mother, it is not your job to take care of him. The only thing holding me back is my daughter and his relationship and WTF WOULD HE GO?! I have all the workload and absolutely no down time, when I am not dealing with difficult situations at work, I get to come home and deal with his unreasonableness. That means he is about to be evicted or setting you up to pay his bills. How much longer do I give it? I will pray for you partners and please lift me up in prayer. He deserves it. I was hoping for 10 or even 20x that. I want to scream and yell! down. And worst of all, hes getting court summons for his credit card debt and I dont have the money to help him out of the debt so thats an even bigger stressor. I saw the loving compliments he said to her and the way he tore me down in comparison to her in his msgs to her. On average, in a two partner family, where both partners worked; It sounds like you are going through a rough time, and we want to make sure you have resources that can help. When i bring up debt he blames me even though the $6000 i am once again in debt isnt because i bought frivalous things. When people dont feel their spouse is doing their fair share, it can lead to a lot of marital problems. He wont move and I have to evict him with money I dont have to file. Their effects and my mindset have led to two marriage breakdowns. Did this man ever mature mentally and emotionally beyond the age of 18 to 20? I am getting resentful because I work full time and do overtime often and dont have time for a social life anymore. I am so fed up of my situation, I want to take my one and only son for swimming lesson but I cant. He is not good with money at all, and I cant make him stick to a budget. Yesterday she said she was meant to have an interview, but apparently the prospective employer didnt call her. 13 yrs later Im in your boat! My main problem was acceptance that I had a chronic pain and working around that. Look around your house, consider your family life, and imagine the chaos that would ensue if she wasnt handling all of it, Cason said. My husband occasianaly mows the lawn or fixes something in the house but of course that doesn't happen every week. Ask me why things are a mess ,, I pushed him to get mental health support or I was leaving and hes now getting some help and hoping to get picked for a training program. And yes, honey. I cant take the stress of struggling to pay the bills, and the guilt if I treat myself to the odd bottle of wine, when the person who is benefitting from my support has cheated on me, dumped me (when I found out) and is enjoying nights out with his new love! It goes way beyond loosing unemployment. ..hes the lazy jerk not you. It has been 11 years and it still hurts every day. We moved to a new city together last April so I could go back to school and she worked for 2 months during the Summer, but has been for the most part unemployed since last January. I have informed my mother that, without wanting to sound as selfish, I will support my sister and her family up to December 2016, but after that I need to take some time off. Although technically I am not unemployed I recently quit a second job that I worked part time and absolutely hated, the job made me miserable and brought about several changes to my personality for the worse. Now he convinced me to invest my retirement in a company y he began and I havent seen any return in over 3 years.. Who knows. If I start to clean he jumps up and starts cleaning with me .. I think my resentments come from all the responsibility on my shoulders, while he can just surf the web during the day and spend time on his photography hobby. Amen. My grandparent died early part of February. This person has been living off of the unemployment gravy train of the past year or so after being fired from a job where they simply made no effort to get along with their boss or do what they were asked to do, its as though they wanted to be fired and did what they could to get handed their walking papers. I have tears streaming down my face as I write this. I dont know how to feel or what to do. I saved enough money to last me just over 5 years, and have family help if needed which I dont take. Heres another thing that gets me: Wow, I dont know to feel relieved or more depressed realizing that Im not the only one going thru this. If we are evicted Im taking the kids and leaving. I just turned 30 and I knew I wanted a family and man I can count on. You have to face up to the fact this guy set you up to be the heavy lifter while he does as he pleases. He barely spoke aside from venting about how much he hated it and how he really didnt want to be here. luckily when hed go on one of these tirades few (if any people) were in the kitchen to notice. I keep my complaints to myself and keep trying to be uplifting but its hard. All he said was that he had given me so much. I wish I could enrol my son in a sporting team, but I cannot afford the fees. Then as things got more comfortable, he started drinking more, and then his personality would change, he was jealous of the friends and life I seemed to have. I feel like a complete fool sometimes. In some cases the opportunity is legit, but comes along at an inopportune time such as when someone has a relative who is dying, has died or is seconds/minutes away from death. I am in a similar situation, only more heartbreaking. Ive held a full time job since we moved here. I am so tired of being the responsible one that I just really want him to go and I will take care of my family myself. Not one of us is promised another day. Why you would like to have baby with a man that you are doubt whether they will get back to work, and doubt with their strange personality? Insurance refused to pay and we had to fork out about 30 thousand pounds fixing the apartment to make it livable, let a lone sellable. I cant remember the last time we went out to dine together. I have a Degree with 2 masters, I have worked all over the UK and US, but I have no job! Youre sitting at home anyways. Yes, that sounds cold, but are you happy dealing with this for now until infinity? Loss. I cook and clean and critiqued for all I do ,, my house is a construction zone with about 10 projects not completed,, theres some hope he may get done training but he doesnt get along well with the other animals .. Its 10 weeks and hell have to play nice , not fight or insult others.. Ive worked thru surgeries and injuries and raised a child ,, Im really done and want to be free if him ,, he says if he completes training and gets work we will split ,, how ironic ,, if he has an income it will be time for him to go ,, of course ! Cooks once in awhile. And he is very forgetfully. My boyfriend who I have lived with for 4 years decided after he was fired from his last job that he was just going to give up. Thats it. He resents me selling the newer house and thinks I am being selfish. So we moved in with my parents. Terms under which this service is provided to you, California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. We have now been here 7 months. The whole idea is to give your husband a dose of reality and jump-start the job search. Be patient; it's never easy to find a new job. I have talked to some friends I find these long term unemployment/ these only do few hours part time for a week , they have some things in comment: Yet I have little left and pray god helpsemeet finds courage and strength and resolve to keep hope for my husband and our family for him to finally get work. Now the x is willing to divorce but it leaves me in a predicament. Been with my boyfriend for 5 years now were planning on getting married but I cant even imagine how hell be afterwards. Go ahead, sit on the sidelines snd advise us to kick him to the curb. Every time she messes ANYTHING up, especially if its somethign for me, she get depressed and teary. I am getting away from this man. He purposely logs out of Facebook when I come home from work- as soon as I walk in the door hes off. The weekend at your parents house thats all squared away because she organized it and packed. She is probably a narcissist and feels housework is "demeaning" to her but it isn't to you. In trying to figure out how to let go of the bitterness, I stumbled upon this site. There is a whole lot of feelings discussions out there about the impact of joblessness on families, but not much talk about how it can actually endanger the employment status of other family members.